cullens vs lambott
by edwards-twilight
Summary: when carlisle and the cullens get and exceptance onto the t.v show wife swap, how will the cullens react, who's the new mom, and why is she such a b***h? eXb, emXr, jXa, cXe... and my own characters fraser, elanor, lilly, jess, olly and jojo flea and mily


CULLEN WIFE SWAP

Rated: M

A/N; i will be writing in different point of views, but mostly esmes, bellas, edwards and maria's (new mom).

p.s... pretend jacob stayed away after the wedding reception. and never came back

disclaimer:

me; ok just get it over with!

edward; ok jessica doesnt own twilight. stephanie meyer does. although jess does own the evil bitch elanor.

me; edward! language. now go play with bella.

edward; ok, bye jess ( kisses my cheek)

me; (hyperventalating) OMEC.

CHAPTER 1- The letter

carlisle p.o.v

As i walked up the drive way i paused at the mail box, there was a thick envelope poking out from it so i opened it and walked quilckly to the house "family meeting now!" i shouted as i stepped hrough the came through the door holding an asleep renesmee and holding bellas hand, they both looked confused. they sat down next to each other and edward cradled renesmee back in his arms. the rest of my family filed through the doors and jasper and emmet both looking 's eyes glazed over and from that i knew she was having a vision, but i didn't ask. i was to angry at this moment._ wife swap. what the fuck had gotten into there minds...well most probably emmet and jasper._ edward looked at me wide eyed and growled. _edward_. i thought_. calm down dont worry_ _he is so dead when esme hears_.

"carlisle? why have you asked for a family meeting"esme asked. she looked deep into my eyes and i remembered why we were here.

"would someone like to explain why today, in the mail i got an acception letter to wife swap" i seethed through my teeth.

"oh shit" jasper mumbled at the same time as emmet did. oh they are for it now.

"what the hell duluded yourselfs into signing us up for fricking wife swap" i shouted at them jasper and emmet looked down guiltily and mumbled sorry

"sorry is not enough" i screamed at them,

" you could expose us on national t.v!" i pinched the bridge of my nose and took an unecisary breath. beside me esme looked quiet, emmet and jasper looked pertefied, rosalie looked smug, edward and bella looked pissed, alice was just being...alice and my darling grandaughter, despite all the noise was still fast asleep on her fathers shoulder.

i pinched the bridge of my nose, and sighed.

"wheres the tape emmet?" i said calmly.

"i'll go get it." he said

emmet slowly moped off and i turned to glare at jasper, he slowly slid down in his chair and turned his head to side, feeling my anger radiating of me.

"daddy?" i heard a little voice say, i turned round to little renesmee looking around. her little hands trying to wipe the sleep out.

" hey baby, you sleep well?" edward asked quietly she turned around and gave him a kiss on the cheek and nodded silently.

"do you want some dinner?" she nodded enthusiasticly

" come on then." he lifted her up on to his hip and took them both into the kitchen. bella stared after them lovingly, smiling.

just as edward waslked back in with renesmee drinking her cup of blood, emmet bounded down the stairs and almost knocked over renesmee. she screamed and droped her glass. but before the glass could hit the floor bella grabed the cup while edward pulled renesmee up into his arms. this was just not a good day,

"you can say that again!" edward growled. ren was still sniffling

"mummy can i have a hug?" she whimpered.

"sure baby," edward passed her to bella and went and sat down with both of them.

"okay emmet show me the tape." i said.

he puth the tape in the tv and pressed play.

*tape/video*

hello, i am carlisle cullen, i am am 32 and i am a doctor, my wife esme is a stay at home mum which she does by choice, and me and my family would like to apply for wifeswap, i am going to show you my daily life rutien and why we sould be picked for wife swap.

me and my wife esme also 32 were told 5 years ago that we would not be able to have children, so we decided to adoped.

our first son, edward was adopted first at twelve years old, i was treating him in hospital after his parent had died of a desease, he had no one left and scince he was recovering i couldnt let him go, and my wife was more than willing to take him in. he is now nineteen.

our second adopted daughter is isabella, also now nineteen. she was adopted a year after edward at 13, she had been in a home for 3 years after her step father had been hitting her for quite some time. she and edward are married and are unseperatable, they also now have a daughter who has just turned two, she is called renesmee. She is a very unique little girl, who seems to grow faster than a normal child but it is now slowing down.

our next child was alice, who is actually esme's niece. she was in a house fire at mother and father both died of lung failure but alice managed t pull through and is now our fasion guru,she buys all of our clothes andis obsessed with shopping. she now has a relationship with jasper.

jasper and his twin sister rosalie were adopted next, there story is private but they both had a bad life before they came to live with us. rosalie has a bit of an attitude problem but if you are nice to her, she will be nice to you...most of the time. you have to respect her because again, you respect her, she will respect you.

lastly is emmet, he was from a bad family backgroung, he 6 other siblings and his mother was a drug addict, he had to steal for food and was arrested twice before taken into care.

Thank you for listening and i hope you pick us for wife swap.

* end of tape/video*

"it wasn't that bad...was it?" jasper laughed humerously. i glared at him, and edward and bella growled.

"i guess we have no choice in the matter" i sighed.

"esme darling, how do you feel about staying with a couple of humans for 2 weeks?"

please review

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